The myriad of ways to screw up a suicide attempt.
A 14 year-old boy in China tried to kill himself by jumping out the window from the ninth-floor. However, a tree got in the way, so while he is now in a world of hurt, the encounter with the ground was not fatal.
A man in Texas tried to commit suicide by stabbing himself with a knife and then jumping off an overpass. However, all he accomplished was to hold up a whole lot of traffic on a highway, with himself soon taken to a nearby hospital.